[Filter: Private]

I still feel a little ... lost. It's harder than I thought it would be, not knowing much of anyone. All of these knights were gone with Lady Anita before I was ever even brought in as a recruit. No one knows why I'm here, so no one knows exactly what I should be doing ... haha, but I guess I'm lucky that working under Sir Jarvis really teaches someone how to at least always look busy. No one's said anything to me about it, yet, but ... it's still a little weird.

I'm sure I'll fit in here eventually. I really think what I told Emma is right. Once we get to Temair, things will calm down some. There's not much for a knight to do in the city when you're not a part of any personal guard, and I'm definitely not going to be that. So I should have time to get to know everyone. If it's anything like Eblar, there'll be trips out to the taverns and things ... no one wants to just sit around all day looking fancy in their armor, haha.

I hope it won't be too much longer. I should ask someone, really ...

[Filter: Private]

I don't really understand it. It must be a good thing, though, right? And ... more importantly, it must mean that Lord Niall has no idea about what happened. Not that I thought Lady Anita would go back on her word, not at all, but ... I wouldn't have been asked something like this if they didn't want me around, and -- and the more I think about it, the more I think this has to be a good sign.

I just have to keep proving myself. The more jobs like this I get assigned, the opportunities I'll have to make up for everything ...

[Filter: Sir Jarvis, Mi]

Well, I thought I would let you know that Lord Niall and the company are on their way back to Vernhail! They should be there in a couple of weeks.

I'm ... not, though. It's the strangest thing. A knight of Conare found me, right on the day before everyone was supposed to be leaving, and he told me that my services were required in the company of Vernhail knights that have been accompanying Lady Anita. Isn't that something? I wonder if Lady Anita requested it, even, though I haven't asked. Everything's been so busy since then, I didn't want to bother her. I, um, accepted, of course.

I was looking forward to going home, but it would be silly to turn down an opportunity like that, right?

We're going to Temair, I guess. Lord Nicolas has some business with Lady Eliza, that's what everyone is saying, and of course Lady Anita goes wherever Lord Nicolas goes, so ...! I might be gone for awhile. I don't know how long this is supposed to last, and whenever I ask, I just get told not to ask so many questions. I guess it makes sense. I should probably just be grateful ...

I hope things are going well in Vernhail without me, though! I'm sure they are.

[Filter: Emma]

I have the money.

If you're reading this, we should probably go really soon. We don't want to miss her, if she's going to Church tonight, and ... I really don't want to carry this around longer than I have to.

[Filter: Private]

She said she would get the money, and she will. I know she will ... Lady Anita is the type that always keeps her word. I can tell. She's a Lady of House Vernhail, besides ...


I just -- that was awful. That was so, so awful of me.

I couldn't just ask her for the money, though ... it had to be her idea. She had to offer, or ... she just had to. I should just be relieved that it worked, but whenever I think about it too hard I just feel a little sick, and ...

I think ... after all of this, I won't mind just being back home, after all. Or back in Vernhail, at least ... back where everything is just normal. I'm going to miss Emma, but ...

[Filter: Emma]

Emma?

I just wanted to tell you not to worry. Lady Anita ... she's going to take care of everything for us. I told her what happened, and she felt so awful about it all that she just offered to take care of things herself. She said she'd write again, when she had the money ...

[Filter: Private]

There's nothing else that I can even think of.

I said I wouldn't, but ... there's nothing else.

She's always been nice to me ... maybe ... maybe she wouldn't even tell Lord Niall. If she does, I don't know what will happen, I'll ... I'll probably be stripped of titles, not that I have many. They'll take my armor and my horse and send me home with nothing and I don't know what I'd tell mum and da and the girls, I just ... I just don't know.

But that's better than what would happen to Emma if I don't try.

[Filter: Lady Anita]

Lady Anita?

Do ... do you have a minute, to talk? I know you must be very busy, I'm sorry.

[Filter: Private]

... She really isn't going to change her mind.

I don't like being treated that way. Just the way she was looking at me, she really thinks that Emma and I are like that. If she tells Brian ... awful things are going to happen. To Emma, not me, and that just makes it so much worse. It's going to be my fault as much as anyone's. We should have been more careful. Just one day, that one time, and that should have been all ... maybe not even that. Wasn't it enough just to say I met her? Now I have a face and a voice to go with her writing, and that's ... that is all I wanted. Just to meet a friend, to make it all more ... real.

But even if we weren't as careful as we should have been, we don't deserve this. Emma, especially. I can't let anything happen to her. This is my responsibility, but ... but I don't have that kind of money.

I just don't.

And knights just out of training on one of their first assignments don't ask their lords for favors. Especially not for things like this.

I just ... I really don't know what to do. I shouldn't tell Emma what happened. It'll only upset her. But I need to think of something soon, or she's going to tell Brian ...

[Filter: Private]

I know we should probably stop this.

Brian only lives a street away and he could show up any time with Emma's things, but ... well, nothing's happened yet, and it's been a long time, too. It's not like I'm going to be here forever. Just a little while longer, probably.

I just don't think it's fair that any day now when we say good bye it's really going to be good bye. We might not even know when it happens until after it's over.

She's even nicer in person, and I didn't think that was even possible. It's just -- it's not fair. It's really not.

[Filter: Emma]

Hey, Emma!

I'm sorry I'm running a little late today. I had to help with a problem in the stable at the last second, but I'm on my way now! Do you think it's still going to be all right? You haven't heard from Brian at all...?

[Filter: Private]

A lot of people really are leaving, really soon. I guess when Lord Nicolas goes, he'll take Lady Anita back to Conare ... and then I guess that's when we'll be heading back too, isn't it?

I hope we get enough notice. This really shouldn't have to be so complicated ...

[Filter: Mi]

Hey!

I just remembered -- I'm so sorry I forgot before! I meant to tell you, we're here, but you should have seen it, Mi! The very second we got into the city, and Lord Niall and the family were safely inside, they gave most of us leave! All of us that were just doing things like guarding supplies, anyway! We have to report back every night, but there's nothing we can really do officially until we leave again, because our supplies are all locked up in Lord Niall's manor, here, now, and -- but that's not the point! The point is that I went with everyone to see the city, and it's amazing!

It's bigger than Vernhail, of course, I was expecting that, but -- I wasn't expecting this! We haven't come even close to going everywhere yet. And you should see the gardens. Milesia's are better, that's what I keep hearing, but wow. And everyone is so nice to us. We wear our breastplates around the city, you know, with Vernhail's crest and all so everyone knows exactly what we are and it's just amazing how well people treat knights, here ... especially visiting ones! Everyone just wants to impress us. Well, it's working for me, for sure.

And the castle ... I think you could fit three of Vernhail's castle into this one, at least. We're not allowed to go far in there, but we did get to go, and I saw the Princess, even though she was kind of far away. She's really pretty, just like everyone says, but she's so quiet! I couldn't hear what she was saying, way back where I was, while she was talking to Lord Niall.

And ... And I'm sure I could think of other things, but this is so long, already! I'm really sorry I didn't say anything sooner, I really just completely forgot.

[Filter: Sir Jarvis]

Sir!

Lord Niall and the company are safely within the gates of Eblar! We'll be here for several weeks, at least. I'll tell you when we're ready to go, too, so you'll know when to expect us back.

[Filter: Lady Anita]

Lady Anita, hello. I promised I would write when we could see the city, so ... um, I'm writing! I guess everyone was a little wrong about how long it would take, but it wasn't too bad ...

We'll be there by the end of the day for sure! You could probably tell everyone, if you wanted.

[Filter: Ren, Annie, Lenore, Eri]

Hi! This is Harry. I just wanted to say that I really had a good time. I'm glad you guys all took a day off that way just for me and Ren. I hope it didn't put you all too far behind ...

[Filter: Ren]

Um, hello.

I really should have said something sooner, because I know we were supposed to visit when you went to Vernhail, but ... uh, I'm not going to be there! I'm actually on my way to Eblar right now.

But I was thinking, if you're going to Vernhail from Eblar, and I'm going to Eblar from Vernhail, maybe we'll see each other on the road? We're easy to spot, we've got a huge procession since Lord Niall himself is with us. And I haven't seen any dragons, so you'd probably be easy to find too! As long as we're on the same road.

So, yeah, I'm really sorry about not saying anything. I completely forgot you were going to Vernhail next. I'm sure you'll love it there anyway, though!

[Filter: Private]

I should really tell her.

... I really don't like feeling this way, like I need to hide what I'm doing. I've always just written about everything in public, before, but if I write that I'm going to Eblar, who knows what Brian would do? But Emma's right, it's really for the best, for now. Maybe when things are a little better, he won't be so unreasonable. There must be something about him that's good, if someone like Emma is with him, like that.

It's going to be hard, not being able to talk about it with everyone. There are a lot of people from here in Eblar, right now, but I'd rather see Emma than anyone else. But who knows if she'll even want to see me?

I really wish things weren't so complicated. We're just friends. It shouldn't be such a big deal ...

[Filter: Emma]

Hey, um, Emma? Do you have a second?

[Filter: Mi]

Oh, Mi! I just heard back from Sir Geoffrey! I'm assigned to the rear supply wagons. I guess we're supposed to make sure we're not being followed or scoped out by outlaws, but with things the way they are we're probably just going to be watching out for coyotes and things, and we have to help with all the horses, but I don't mind that at all.

Anyways, we're leaving at the end of the week! I said I'd tell you when I heard back, so!

[Filter: Sir Jarvis]

Thank you again for the letter! I just heard back ... I'm assigned to the rear supply.

[Filter: Private]

... I should tell Emma ...

I wonder what she'll think. Brian really can't know, but if I go all the way to Eblar and I don't even get to see her ...

[Filter: Private]

I do want to go, and I'm not going to worry about what Brian has to say about it, when they find out. He doesn't have to know about it at all, even ...

But first I need to get myself in the procession, and there's not much time.

[Filter: Sir Jarvis]

Sir Jarvis! I'd like to ask you a favor.

I'd like to get a position on Lord Niall's procession, to Eblar. There are a still a few positions open for knights to pull up the rear and guard the supply wagons, and all that, but there are a lot of people trying to edge in, because everyone wants to see Eblar.

But if I could get a letter of recommendation from you, I think I'd have a chance.

[Filter: Private]

I'd talk to him if I didn't think it would just make everything so much worse ... poor Emma.

I know there must be a good reason she just deals with everything, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it very much.

It's hard to believe that I was just complaining about how cold it was and having to break up ice and all of that, and now it's just so hot, sometimes. It's not as bad as it's going to be, yet, but the worst part about wearing armor most of the day is that when it's hot out it feels like you're cooking. It's really not -- [the line squiggles off the page

[and there's a mud splatter here]


Uhh. And I think Shucks must have just seen a rabbit ...

[Filter: Private]

... I'm glad she's writing, even if it's not the best news. I hope her mum liked the sandwiches.

I really, really hope she took care of everything that's been bothering her, and it'll just get better, now. ...

[Filter: Public]

Well, is anyone still interested in checking up on their resolutions for the month? I still haven't missed a service, four months in a row. That's the longest I've gone at one time without missing something, I'm pretty sure, so yeah. I'm doing great, how about you?

[Filter: Private]

It's been awhile since she wrote at all ... but maybe she's just busy. Eblar is really busy, right now, isn't it?

I hope that's all it is. I'll give her a few more days before I bother her. I really don't want to sound pushy or anything, I'm just worried ...

Maybe after the recruits get here and they're all settled in. Hm ...

It's definitely a lot warmer. We don't have to break up ice in the mornings anymore, so that's a relief, and unless there's another storm from nowhere I think we're done shoveling and all for the year, too. Some of the trees have started blooming lately... that's always a good sign!

I can't believe it's already time to start thinking about the Moon Festival. I wonder if I'd be able to take a few days to go home ... I missed it last year, and mum's been hinting in her letters ... it's been awhile since I've seen my sisters, too. It might be worth trying to work something out.

Anyway, I don't know who's still interested in checking up every month, but we're a quarter of the way through the year already! So how are people doing with their resolutions, still? I haven't missed a Saturday service yet, but it's been close a few times. I was late this morning, actually, but only by a few minutes.

Well, I still haven't missed any services, this year! It's getting easier and easier. It's a routine, I guess, just like everything else here. Some of the guys think it's silly, but I don't think they're serious about it. They'll tease anyone for anything.

I feel really good about it. I know we're only two months in, but still!

How is everyone else doing with their resolutions? If anyone's still keeping track!